We have really learned quite a few things since April 1st.
It began with our ultrasound that day, the mention of a slow fetal heart rate, and the weird cold vibe we received from the technician as she curtly printed a couple ultrasound pictures for us when it was over. Two days later, we heard from our midwife to prepare for the worst... that there was still a glimmer of hope but that it didn't look good. Turns out that a fetal heart rate of 70 beats per minute around 6-7 weeks of pregnancy is a very bad sign (should be more like 90-120). So that's learned item #1.
Item #2 is that in the last week, we have learned that miscarriages are WAY more common than we've ever realized. Just about everyone with whom we've just shared our bad news, have empathized back with a miscarriage story of their own, or of someone in their immediate family. One of the doctors we talked with told us of her own experience, and also that roughly 1 in every 4 pregancies end in early miscarriage... and that's just of those women who know they are pregnant (many never even realize in the case of a very early miscarriage).
The final word came just yesterday, with another ultrasound. Not only were there no further signs of growth, but the heart had stop beating. Well, hearts actually. So Item #3: It was another set of twins (likely identical this time, since they both apparently had the same congenital defect).
Given all of that, Item #4: the children that we already have been blessed with, are indeed precious gifts (we knew that already, but now even more so). It is a marvel, the number of things that have to line up right, to create life. How lucky we are to already have Autumn and Evan.
(this pic was in Glacier Nat'l Park, Sept 2004)
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Late last week was a tough time, after hearing that our pregnancy was likely doomed. We luckily were able to process the information and mentally prepare over the course of the weekend and early this week... so that when the final word came, it was almost a relief... in that we had a clear answer and could try to move on. Marisa had her D&C procedure this morning and all went well, the hospital staff at Women and Children's Hospital was very kind, especially Dr. Kastori. A huge thank you goes out to our dear friends and neighbors Nathan and Nikki for watching the kids overnight (which gave them a little sneak preview for their bundle on the way). Also, thank you to all who have already sent us your thoughts, condolences, and prayers.
The roller coaster of the last month has been a challenge. Yet we have so much to be thankful for, and to look forward to. Spring is sprung, tulips are out here in WV, and our garden is prepared. Grandma Laurie is on her way down for Easter. The kids are starting swimming lessons. We're going to Grand Rapids in a couple weeks for a wedding with close friends that go all the way back through childhood. Camping is not too far away now. In June, a fabulous long beach weekend in South Carolina. In July, our annual pilgrimage to the Lake Huron cottage with probable side trip into the Upper Peninsula. And finally late Summer/early Fall, when several friends of ours will be getting Autumns and Evans of their own. :)
-Mark
